This is what strangers would say to me when they saw my expanding belly, barely hidden by the stroller that held my infant. “You’re braver than I am,” and they would smile with fake politeness and shake their heads bemusedly at me. I always thought this was an odd thing to say.
- It suggested that having two babies in 11 months was part of my master plan. Whether it was my master plan or not is really nobody’s business. Especially you, checkout woman at Target.
- Why is this “brave”? Strangers think it’s brave because they’re assuming I’m in for stressful, exhausting, crazy-ass time. And maybe I am. But these people should say what they really mean: Better You Than Me, Lady.
I also had a great aunt who said aloud what some folks were probably thinking (pointed to my belly and asked, loudly, “Is that a mistake?”). And one stranger who simply smiled and told me how blessed I was.
I don’t remember the faces of the countless people who told me I was “brave,” but I do remember the face of the woman who told me I was lucky. I wanted to kiss her full on the mouth for being the only random stranger who saw the blessing instead of the burden.
Wherever she is, I hope she’s received the good karma that she earned that day.
I agree that relating bravery to your situation is puzzling. I see your situation as being trying but rewarding. My two sons are 22 months apart and are each other’s best friends (though they would never openly admit it), It’s a trade off. Yes spacing your kids out is in a sense “easier” on the parents, but the kids lose out on the bond that the share with their siblings. Keep you head up. It will be a tough road but it will be worth it.
You are ‘fortunate among women’
! ~ Whoops ~ ! ~ Sounds like something I would’ve said ~ ! ~ Now I know better ~ ! 🙂
so so true em!!! great point!! sounds exactly like the people who say to me…’your husband must be so happy he FINALLY got HIS boy!’..like we kept having kids, not because we wanted them, but that we were trying to make john happy so he could have HIS boy…eww. i always want to smack them…people can be sooo insensitive. and as a matter of fact having 4 kids was the goal from the start, and i love johnny to pieces, but 4 girls would have made life a ton more convenient…had to totally start over with everything…PINK just doesnt cut it…well except that his room is still ‘periwinkle’..when the girls were in that room…it was a lovely shade of lilac!!!lol!
I know! People say the craziest things. I would love to see Johnny and his periwinkle room. 🙂
Well, consider this: mothers don’t roll with the punches so much these days. Everything is so google-crazy. Researching what organic blends to feed the kid, everything has to be sooo perfect and controlled. So annoying!
I like your style, even tho it wasn’t premeditated. It’s cool to see a laid back mom.