Gone Fishing

I’d like to warmly welcome our next guest blogger, Al.  She is a jet-setting, world-traveling, sexy kitten who takes no prisoners during her weekly pat downs at the airport….which she secretly enjoys.

I am a 38 year old single female.  I have never been married and have decided after four years of going to the movies by myself, I would jump back into that huge pond filled with a plethora of fantastic men…..yeah right!

I was left pretty heartbroken and completely jaded about dating and men.  I didn’t want to have anything do with having a relationship with the opposite sex, so I gave myself one year to build back my self-confidence and my self-worth before I would go on a date.

My obligatory year passed and then two, then three and here I am now on year four.  I always have excuses.  I’m moving. I’m too fat. I’m moving. I’m too busy. I’m moving. I’m moving again. I travel too much….blah blah blah.  I was really just sabotaging myself so that I wouldn’t be attractive to anyone.  Not that I am a show stopper, but I am fairly intelligent, a bit witty, kinda sassy, and not too unfortunate looking most days.

I decided when I moved to the Metro DC area that I was going to try online dating.  Match.com was the first website that I joined.  If I was going to pay money, I wanted to put 100% into really trying to meet someone and not just email for weeks. Now….you don’t get to be 38 and NOT have “the list” of “must haves” and “hope to haves.”  That being said, I was still trying to just get out there and meet people.

Date #1:  October 2012—Emailed the guy a few times and we decided to meet at a bar in my neighborhood.  I was able to walk…so no picking me up and knowing my address and I could leave when I wanted.  I get there first.  His profile stated 5’9”.  This is the shortest I will date.  Height is on “the list.”  I get up to hug him and we are seeing eye to eye and I am wearing flats.  Strike one.  We talk about work and order food.  His work chat is a bit on the Mustard Museum Logointense side and he is slightly negative about his job…whatever…. aren’t we all?  Food comes out and the tater tots have three sauces.  He asks what they are: “Remoulade, Maple Mustard, and Buttermilk”.  He points at the mustard sauce and says “I’m not gonna like that one.  I don’t like mustard.”  Strike two…O to the M G!!!  I put mustard on everything and my life’s goal is to go to Wisconsin to the Mustard Museum. I try to pay for half of the food and drinks and he tells me this horrible story about some children who watched their parents die in a plane crash.  There was ZERO laughing during the date….Strike three, although the mustard was the true deal breaker. Duh.

I heard about another website that is free. It is called pof.com (plenty of fish—my ass).  Men tend to be more forward on this site and

From the free dating website.  You get what you pay for, ladies.

A man who wants to meet me from the free dating website. You get what you pay for, ladies.

within one minute of me signing up, I had five emails and 10 “wants to meet you.”  Free is free so a bit more weeding out to do.  I have never seen so many men taking pictures of themselves in bathrooms, with shirts off, on crotch rockets, with guns and a few in skivvies…NOT attractive OR cool.  Can’t these guys ask a friend to take a picture of them?  Do guys not do this?

I have been on a two more dates with different guys and am currently chatting with about four.  I feel like such a serial online dating tart. I am proud of myself for getting out there and I hope to tell you more of my dating stories….but for now, it’s time to go fishing….

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